How many times has your significant other reluctantly accepted an invitation to go out with you and your friends? Is it because they think your friends despise them? Maybe so. Are you the friend that hates your friend’s love interest? Or are you the one that’s hated by the whole clique?
I have quite a few friends who I know have been on both sides and I’d like to shed light on this Valley of Dead Relationships.
I’ll start by asking some questions:
1. After an argument with your boy/girlfriend do you immediately call your BFF while you’re still upset?
2. Do you tell your friends every waking second of your relationship?
3. Do you always refer to your significant other by their title instead of their actual name?
4. Do you have a friendship with your boy/girlfriend?
If you answered yes to all or more than zero, you may be the one passing your friends a big bottle of haterade to drink.
This issue stems from a communication error. If you can effectively keep the lines of communication open in your relationship, then it’ll be more fruitful. This is true for friendships as well.
Now that we’ve found the cause of the problem, let’s resolve it.
Big Tip #1: After an argument, talk it out with the other person. If you’re too heated, find a way to calm down (take a run, a drive, listen to music, yoga, or whatever floats your boat), then try again.
Big Tip #2: Avoid social networks. Find a different way to vent instead of bashing the person you claim to care about, PUBLICLY. Angry tweets or a post will add fuel to your angry fire AND invite randoms into your relationship. If you write music, poetry, or dance they are great outlets.
Big Tip #3: Try to build on your friendship with “bae”. If you have a strong foundation of friendship, the other person will feel more comfortable confiding in you and they will come to you before anyone.
Big Tip #4: Stop rubbing your relationship in every one’s face. Your friends are happy for you but they get tired of hearing nothing but news about “the bae”. No one cares as much as you, remember that.
Big Tip #5: Monkey see, monkey do. If you spit nothing but bad things about your love to friends, family, or strangers then that’s where their impression comes from. Let them form their own opinion of “the bae”. Keep your nasty comments within the walls of your relationship.
Big Tip #6: Exercise privacy. Everyone is not entitled to know everything about your love life.
Big Tip #7: Be open to criticism. If you post about your love life frequently or complain to friends just as much, you’re just keeping Pandora’s Box open indefinitely. Your constant complaints are open invitations for opinions, so brace yourself.
I hope this helps alleviate or at least slightly eliminate the drama between your besties and the bae. Just remember to keep your relationship sacred, don’t hide your love just learn to express it more effectively. Good luck and blessings!
–PSFBC signing off
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